The rubber bear was a gift from his brother, he found it in the dumpster behind the closed orphanage. “Who the hell could throw this away? …

 

I’ve offered bushels of wheat, walked barefoot on hot roads, waded through savage waters and have found little to show for it all. Reggie says this as …

 

One summer night we went down to the clover field near the big barn. Reggie’s cat was buried there and he was sure he had buried …

 

I hardly remember anything about that trip except for the busted lip. Reggie stumbling on the tile and banging his lip wide open just outside the …

 

I’m past the point of caring. Are they yours or not? He asked me over dinner; we ate leftovers, sour day old shrimp paired with …

 

I left Reggie at the burger joint; sour-eyed, lips quivering, hands wandering under the table looking for bare legs. He wanted me to move back …

 

They were my grandmother’s sisters and I think they were from Scarsdale. She wasn’t included in the photo, she was younger, played on the studio …

 

Eyeing at me from the bed, tempting me over. What’s it about those films? Every time you make me watch one, I have bad dreams. He’s smoking in …

 

We found them under the garage, plump and aware. They were willful creatures and tore into most food we offered. One of them preferred tuna and the …

 

Din dudie, din din. Reggie’s dragging his shoes through the tall grass looking for turtles. He finds the mouse and swoons. Look here, we got a …

 

Reggie built the shrine in the bedroom. He lay before it most evenings, smoking cigarette after cigarette, the smoke rolling over red polester and golden …

 

Saving Memories

Saving Memories

Whether it’s a memory of a past partner or a fantastic vacation, one of the best ways to keep memories alive is to create a …

 

Reggie brought me the turtle on Sunday. Left it in the yard as a surprise. I woke that morning, hung over from Pepsi and some …

 

Reggie sweeps out back and I pour wine. The neighbors come by and sweet talk us into dinner. We meander on over, Reggie swinging a …

 

You’re probably wondering what Reggie looks like. Is he clean cut, wholesome, walks his mother to the mail room everyday, greats the sisters who run …

 

I have a diorama in my soul, don’t you see it? It’s filled with buffalo and foam rocks. There’s a story there; I see the …

 

I broke up with Reggie behind the bear cages at the carnival. There was a brown bear with a rubber chain collar around his neck …

 

Reggie drives me down to glamor town or at least that’s what he used to call it. We eat dinner – chop suey and subgum …

 

Athena was a childhood friend. We’d skirt the grass together, wrestle it down with our bare feet, wearing little. I don’t remember a time when …

 

I had cancer once when I was 14. It mottled my appearance and turned areas of my skin a wan, lifeless brown, the color of …

 

Mom and the dog. Reggie can’t remember his name but he was his favorite. He was a show dog but a wiry little fuck, always …

 

I think this is Reggie’s father. There’s something scrawled on the back of the photo, I can only make out 1937. Dick. The rest is …

 

Yeah, it was the same old vending machine. I met Reggie standing next to this aqua delight. It had been there for years, I was …

 

Can I offer you a glass of something? It’d be swell if we could remember one another. Build it up, cradle, caul one another until …

 

There’s a stance one takes – you know? What stance? I’m not sure what you mean? The sort of stance where one is sure of things. Where …

 

If there’s a window to the world it’s not this world we’re seeking. Reggie says this in his sleep. Crackerjack philosophy. Organic molecules are misunderstood. …

 

What you got for me, E? I ask him who E is but he never tells me. It’s an offering, see he’s saying I give …

 

Riding down down a path strewn with debris, ivy and dry leaves. I took the old bike out, it was rusted through and through and …

 

The marital bed. The marital bed 1620. Lice and eggs and eggnog. Scurvy and tack and happy stances. Can you imagine it? asks Reggie, it’s …

 

Lost on the path, we only had that way to go. But it was towards Duffy’s house, the house with the holes in the wall, …

 

Nicked on the rusted jungle gym. Blood on the knee. Ripped up and tossed out. Swaying on the lawn. Drunk on the tennis courts. Beer …

 

The sluice to the netherworld. Beaming under bread bins and sitting in dirty restrooms. There’s this window in the laundry-mat. It’s above the row of high capacity dryers. A …

 

It’s Timmy Time, he’d shout and run after me, naked and drunk, his hair slicked back in a pompadour. It started last summer when he bought …

 

We went swimming at the dock. It was late but the water was clear, high tide, seaweed drifting past us in clumps. I put some …

 

There’s my girl, Reggie pointed out to me as we walked to the corner store. It was late, past midnight, a gang of girls stood outside …

 

Quick lime and summer swims. Whole afternoons gutted. We went to the Lizzie Borden’s house. Snapped photos of the couch where she slaughtered her father. …

 

So the horses, so he let the horses out, or not, I can’t be sure but they were roaming the fields by the ha ha …

 

The telephone is ringing, is that my mother on the phone? he always sang that song when he was angry. Wearing a black turtleneck and …

 

Time goes mighty slow around here, says Reggie then gives me a big sigh. He buries his head under the pillow but the rest of …

 

He’s above water, a slight creature, a furry creature, weightless, bounding towards me, double speed with no thought/thoughts, transgressions, salutary reminders, death threats? The …

 

Reggie liked submissive strangers. I thought I’d tell him he shouldn’t warrant those folks; low fields full of soft people, the graspers and hanger ons, …

 

The world’s roasting on a slow flame. Roasted above the quakes; the marshes and fens, the slow moving rivers and vacant lots. Many times, I’ve …

 

A wall of crutches, for the world to use. That’s what I said when I saw them hanging there. It was warm, unseasonably warm, dry …

 

When he cries, he covers his eyes and the world might go away, astray, bury itself in its selfish hole. When we marry, we marry …

 

I found the two books in the attic when we were visting his mother in Utah. I wasn’t used to wide, open spaces and felt …

 

One of the last fights we had was at the arcade. Reggie was shooting cowboy boots and bottles of whiskey at one of those “Old …

 

That bastard Old Salty! It was Reggie, he was playing with the plastic salt and pepper shakers at the roadside seafood joint. Cap’n Pepper …

 

What’s the one sport, you’ve ever loved? Reggie asked me. We were in the soccer field at midnight; the grass was dewy and it reminded …

 

Reggie wanted to write a book called “Fire”. I advised him not to. Leads to high expectations, I said. And what will it really be …

 

Pick your poison. Your music, your romance, your changes and that’s where it ends. Seven ugly months, rolling down hills, jumping on mattresses, lolling on …

 

Parties on the back porch and god knows who’s in the chicken coop now. I see now that it’s Reggie, he locked himself in again, …

 

I’m not so sure I should have followed him. Through the fields of snow, through the back yards, collecting lawn ornaments: concrete gnomes, glass globes …

 

When I first met Reggie he told me he did a stint at Harvard. “Bones and groans,” he’d say, “a waste of my precious time. The …

 

He started a beer can collection one Fall. Inspired by us going to this dingy, dark bar in the Everglades where one shelf was lined …

 

Reggie and the bikes, Reggie and the cars, Reggie playing Mille Bornes with his parent on that camping trip in Utah. The more the merrier, …

 

Gorrilliz and cold tuna. Listened to them all night and ate from cans of cold tuna. Reggie kept them in the fridge, next to the …

 

Greed is good, he says and puts the bookmark in his novel. I’m surprised you read those anymore, I say, they’re full of traps. Give …

 

Before I met Reggie, he collected ashtrays. It started when he was a boy. His mother would ask him to get her one from the …

 

Reggie and I thought about going to India together. He was an expert on countries he had never been to. “We’ll just fly to Europe and …

 

Fish Fry. It’s all we ever ate. Wrapped in newspaper. No. Wrapped in newspaper with vinegar and the newspaper is damp, greasy and smells of …

 

“Who da man? Who da man?” Was all he said when he paid for the painting. We were at a yard sale. The owner of the …

 

This was at the country fair a few years ago. Reggie had been drinking Limoncello all morning and was pretty far gone at this point, …

 

I’m a smoker now. It’s been a few days and I chain smoke now. It’s quite refreshing actually, well, the menthols are but I rarely …

 

I found the wallet in the bottom of his closet. “Ann?” I asked. He was on the bed, his sandy brown hair fanning over the …

 

I bought this old tape player at a thrift shop. The cassette was his but he’d never seen the movie. So we watched it one …

 

I call this one, “The Evolution of Reggie”. First he’s an ape, then a boy child named Stevie and then he morphs into Gene Simmons. …

 

On weekends Reggie and I used to go down to the Latino grocery store near the river. It was a smokey place; a bunch of …

 

So the night I decide to leave, Reggie decides to cook some Chicken Mole. He adds too much chocolate but I pretend it’s okay. There …